Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
