walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Someone signed my nipple.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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