2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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