I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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