I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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