when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
