whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
