I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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