I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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