Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
