is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
