i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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