jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize