Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
