Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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