There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
