I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
