someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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