I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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