but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
