at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I will die if light touches me.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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