What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am spending my child support on dildos
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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