Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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