I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
