chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
