Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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