I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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