You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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