just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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