there's paper in my vomit.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
