As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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