is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
