The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
