Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
