Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
