Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
