Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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