I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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