just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
