i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
