I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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