I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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