New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
