well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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