Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
