walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
