dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
