You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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