she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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