Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize