Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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