I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
