Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My balls are so social today.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
