All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
