there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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