Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
