found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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