Will you blow on my dice?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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