I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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