Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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