in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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