Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
