I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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