you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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