Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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