Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
should my penis look like a turkey
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
