I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
